Monday, September 28, 2009
Hmmm...
Ok well I feel better, it's always when you think you are alone something is said, or you see something that just changes the way you feel, and its uplifting. When you get to a place where you start looking around and wonder how you got here, and how you managed to survive, well it can be quite scary. I have always done what I had to do to survive and to provide for my family, and I have no regrets about that, but when you think about 20yrs of your life that has passed you by while you were living life, not the way you expecting but just the way it was intented for you at the time. Then you reach an age when you have raised your kids, and your trying to figure out who you are, now that your not a fulltime mom. I remember years ago saying that, that would never be me, I would always do the things I wanted, and have a fullfilling life, and raise a family and be Happy. Ive done the latter, but the fullfilling part, not so fullfilling. Don't get me wrong I love that God blessed me with three wonderful talented kids, and was there with me while I raised them, because at 15 the odds were against me, but we did it. But now who am I?, what do I truly like to do, how do I get myself out there again, and start all over? Its scary, when you have been in long term relationships all your life, and suddenly you find you are alone, and the three people that have always been your security blanket are out living their life, its scary how do I start all over? That's been weighing heavy on my heart lately, so im trying to work through that. Bear with me. But on a cheerful note, I went through all my Halloween decorations, cuz Fall is here my FAV season, and Halloween is right around the corner. This is my first Halloween in my house, so me and my son talked about opening the garage and making a haunted house. If anyone has any suggestions, or easy decorating ideas send em to me!! But I did realize, all the decorations i had for my apt, is not enough to decorate my house, so YEAH i get to do some Halloween shopping. Well everyone have a good night and until next time.
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1 comment:
Kudos to you! I know how it is to lose yourself so completely in your children, family, home that when the empty nest is suddenly upon you, you're like, what? Where did time go? I've always tried to separate being just me, from being mom, sister, aunt, friend.. Sometimes I succeeded, sometimes, not so much but I kept enough of myself free and clear that I knew when my children were grown exactly what I planned to do.. Writing, painting, vacationing.. And then came my grandsons and I was given the opportunity to wow and amaze them with all of the wonderfully magical games n' cookies and traditions that I had bestowed upon my own children, and it has been awesome.. And I still have time for me.
Good luck on your journey..
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